Hey everyone!  Last week Lexington Market in Baltimore had some big guests over for lunch.  Here's a little one minute story I did on the event using only sound from the event (notice no reporter talks)

-Jonathan

Fire Dancing!

Hello All~
Kim here. So, for those of you I haven't told, my newest passion is fire dancing! I know, I can hear all you aunts and uncles and cousins out there... what is this crazy Californian girl doing out there twirling fire around? Well... all I can say is that I am learning this ancient art form and loving it. My creative, dance background lends itself to this activity, and I take it very seriously. I practice a lot without the fire, and take all safety precautions when fire is involved. I have attached a video that Rich took of the first time I spun fire a couple of weeks ago after taking my first class. Please remember, it was my first time... I was pretty terrified and I think I look fairly awkward! But I am getting better and more comfortable quickly, and hopefully I will have better performances to share soon. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the video of my first fire spin. If you want to learn more about it you can wikipedia "fire dancing" or "poi spinning."

PARENT - Job Description

POSITION TITLE:

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term team players needed for challenging
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends
and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

For the rest of your life you must be willing to be hated,
at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously
sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining,
constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

** and a footnote "There is no retirement -- EVER!!!

Share with others applying for the job....

Fraud Alert!!

Hey gang, just some friendly reminders from me, the recent victim of fraud on my cellular phone account. (Probably no long term problems, but LOTS of hassle.)

1) If you call in to any of your accounts and they ask you for minimal information (name/address/last 4 digits of SSN) in order to process changes, ASK THEM if you can put a security PIN number on your account. I don't know why they don't ask you, but they often don't.
2) At least, get your free copies of your credit reports. Go to annualcreditreport.com, where you can get one copy from each company once per year, so if you space the three requests out over 4 months, you're kind of covered.
3) If you don't need to have your credit checked very often, consider freezing your credit with all three companies. In Maryland, it costs $15 each time you freeze and unfreeze ($5 each company), so only you can decide if this step is worth it to you. A very small benefit of being the victim of fraud is that I can freeze and unfreeze for free, since I will have a police report.

As they used to say on Hill Street Blues, "be careful out there"!

Chris Paris (Denver) on the Slopes

Way to go Chris!


(I am posting this on Bill's behalf until he gets his password issue worked out. I'm not on help desk today. Janine?)

My new coasters

Here's Oliver painting a coaster for me at the local pottery center. We did this as an after-school project with Cora's classmates; several of them painted coasters for me, which you can see next time you visit!

Meet the Hermit Crabs

Cora picked out TWO hermit crabs because she did some research on the internet and discovered that they are "social animals" and need companionship! They are eating powdered "hermit crab food" along with lots of apples, kale and grapes and, thankfully, not each other! She is doing a very good job of taking care of them!

I see a Western in the future...

The Paris Connection has invaded my dreams! I had a very vivid and specific dream last night into this morning that the generation above me (Chris, Bill, Carol, MP & J9) wrote a play and screenplay adapted from a novel that was a western! And it took off like crazy! It was a play on Broadway starring Maggie Gylenhall and I have a feeling it was headed (before I was so rudely interrupted by my alarm clock) to the Oscars!

The other funny thing is that I was interview you all as a group (naturally), and you kept saying that "you know, it's really not that hard to adapt a novel, it's all written there already" as if you had plagiarized the whole thing!


But who cares... I say get to work aunts & uncs! Fame and fortune await you!